The following is an email discussion I had recently that so touched and challenged me that I wanted to share it with the larger community. I hope you enter the discussion....
I was wondering if we are trying to make people more like Christ or are we trying to make people more like ourselves? The group that attends the meetings are all very committed, invested people of the church. However, most of us are also reasonably outgoing and comfortable talking in groups. Many people sit on the sidelines b/c they lack the confidence to step up. Are we excluding others b/c they may not have the confidence to "become the church?" How do we build up others so they think they deserve to be an important part of the church and God's world in general? When I bring up these points someone will say "that's just another excuse." I personally am tired of that response. I think we have the habit of calling other people's real feelings excuses. Even though they may well be excuses, they are still real feelings that people have and we need to help them get through them instead of judging them and brushing them off to the side because we are in a different place on our journey with God.
I also think we do not give people enough credit when they do something for the church. Some people would like to do one or two big things a year for the church and the rest of the time be pew sitters. This is the beginning to something bigger for them, but it's all they can do right now. I believe we are trying to make everyone 100% committed or not at all. There is a happy medium and we need to let people know that even doing something small is very appreciated. That's my 2 cents...
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Do people lack confidence that they can have a significant role in the church? Sure, but what I’m really interested in is NOT making them feel guilty in order to serve more, but ask what are we as a church doing that might be discouraging their participation? Do we, for example, concentration the decision making power in the hands of a few so that most people feel disconnected with the church and assume someone else is “nominated” to do it. These organizational/administrative problems are what concern me the most.
I am also concerned, however that our lack of motivation in the church reflects a lack of compassion for those who are outside the fellowship we sometimes take for granted. I think that when your focus is on the needs of those without Christ, you will be motivated to do something however small and seemingly insignificant. I will admit that I’m also concerned whether people realize that when you become a Christian that is also means you become a follower, a servant, and healer.
If people serve only once or twice a year, I say great as long as this is part of a growth process for them and their faith. But if they are still doing only one thing 10 yrs later, or stop doing anything, then I worry. Absolutely we should encourage everyone in what they are doing, no matter large or small, it is all part of the ministry of this Church.
Thanks for the discussion, Steve
I think the people I was referring to are two types of people:
One who lacks the confidence to speak to a group or a stranger and say “how can I serve, too?” because of shyness. Some people just don’t like to be hugged, and we may be too touchy-feely for them.
The other who is so ashamed of their life that they do not believe that they deserve to be a servant of God. I think people know that they can do things for the church like clean, serve meals, stuff envelopes, etc., but to do it in the name of God you must first feel like you deserve it. It is difficult to explain this in an e-mail, but the feeling of worthlessness is very debilitating. One of my spiritual gifts if mercy (maybe sympathy is a better word), so I’m trying to use that. I just want this group to step outside of themselves and imagine what it would feel like if you didn’t think you deserved God’s love. I think some people have been so committed to God for so long they have forgotten how difficult it is to make that committment in the beginning or to recommit if God has become a less important part of your life.
I don’t know…I’m rambling. If you understand what I’m saying you can share it
I think you analysis is right on. You really have a heart for people and I can see the gift of mercy in you.
I think you need to keep the rest of us honest.
Yes we do take for granted that everyone might see the world the way we do, when in fact they do not. Call us on it and make us think it through. I think God has given you a voice of compassion that we need to hear and learn from.
I think sometimes as we grow in spiritual maturity and grow into leadership roles in the church, we do take things a little bit for granted and can forget that not everyone in the building on Sunday is at that same point in their walk with Christ. I don’t believe we intentionally try to make ourselves seem “superior,” but I can see where people who are seeking or who are fairly new to their faith can view us either as feeling that we are a little above the crowd, or at least that they have such a long way to go that they couldn’t possibly have anything to offer. So in that sense, I think maybe we do place some barriers to other peoples’ growth. Their perception is their reality, whether we intend to create that perception or not.
The thing that worries me more than whether or not people “become involved” is whether or not they take their call to Christianity seriously and whether or not they truly believe the Holy Spirit is at work in them. I think once you recognize the Holy Spirit at work in your life, you truly have only two choices…respond to God’s call on your life, or consciously try to wrestle control of your life away from God. I have a sense, though, that a large percentage of our congregation has no idea whether or not the Spirit dwells in them, and if it does, how do they recognize it? And if that is the case, what do we do as a church and as individuals called to create disciples to help people either invite the Holy Spirit into their lives or recognize how it is already working in them. To me, that seems to be the point where true discipleship must begin…with the recognition that God IS actively working in your life, that he has a plan for you, and that there can be nothing more fulfilling than living out God’s plan for your life. Once you accept that premise, “pew-sitting” is no longer an option. That doesn’t mean you have to sign up for every committee coming and going or spend half your life attending meetings, but it does mean that you need to start searching out your spiritual gifts and figuring out what it is God wants you to do. I found this little quote on a youth ministry website the other day:
“…in the testimony of the Bible, the call to ‘come’ is never isolated from the call to ‘go.’”
So how do we get people to take that next step from merely being consumers of faith to actively practicing their faith?
Hi!
I am a shy person, though few believe that. Sitting on a pew used to be very comfortable for me. Then I began to feel as if I should do something.
The concept of ministry was a vague thing to me. What did it mean? Just what was I supposed to do? Those questions and a busy life kept me inactive for quite awhile.
To make matters worse when I finally got off the pew I wound up with baggage. Colliding with other Christians can be both painful and daunting when you are struggling to figure this ministry/serving/off the pew thing out. They’ve got their stuff figured out -Thank you very much! It’s enough to make you wonder why you ever scooted forward and stood up to serve.
Now it is very easy to say, just park that stuff at the door and start over, but with each new door you enter you get a little more wary. Do we bother to find out how wary our fellow Christians are and why they are wary before we expect service? Do we look at their season in life and realize that some seasons of time are just busier than others? Can we have the grace to remember sleepless nights with small kids and being so exhausted that sitting on a pew felt like a mini vacation? To get a few minutes in the service while the kids were in nursery just to think about God without interruption!
I understand now that the people in church have flaws just like me. They are learning too and often the collisions occur in an area God is perfecting in their lives as well as my own. That little piece of simplicity took years to learn.
What motivated me off the pew was the examples of others who considered serving their top priority. That and a Holy Spirit that never gave up! What kept me motivated was the fact that God never said it would be easy- just necessary -for my relationship with Him and the people He loves. (Everyone.)
Feeling intimidated for a shy person is pretty well normal, but even the shyest of us can be encouraged to bloom in an area where we feel comfortable.
Learning to accept that -I can do ALL thing through Christ that strengthens me – can make a huge difference. I know now that when I show up and things work God is surely there. Even in the disasters He is still there – showing me different things but nonetheless there.
Can we as members of the body encourage others by just having an attitude of positive belief in our fellow Christians instead of a critical attitude?
Maybe if we share where we mess up it would not be so intimidating to others. Have you ever worked beside a perfect person? One who nimbly and ably does a top notch job? Just by looking on as they work, your work seems to become more and more inferior compared to theirs. Yet odds are the perfect person was far from being perfect. The work was far from being perfect also. Can our ease of service cause others to cringe because we aren’t transparent enough to let them see our goofs, gaffes, and complete humanness?
I guess the question comes down to: what can we do to make others feel comfortable enough to get off the pew and experience the joy of service? Do we really show that our service, flawed as it may be, is a joy?