BY ROGER FIELDS
1. You think a "podcast" is the new vegetable toss competition at the County Fair.
"Did you hear Ernie won third place in the pea pod cast this year?"
2. You think "YouTube" means someone else's toothpaste.
"That's not my tube; that's you tube."
3. You think "carbon emissions" is what your copy machine produces.
"Hey, the copier is broke. The carbon emissions are coming out all black."
4. You think "blogging" is slow jogging.
"I was blogging down the sidewalk when a neighbor's kid passed me on his tricycle."
5. You think "Facebook" is your high school yearbook.
"Of course I'm on Facebook. Look at page 62 next to the picture of George tripping over the punch bowl at the prom."
6. You think "going green" is the fashion expectation on St. Patrick's Day.
"I'm going green this year with my new lime vest."
7. You think "Twitter" is what Uncle Gordy does when he eats too much sugar.
"Gordy just sat there twittering after he ate that triple-layered chocolate avalanche cake."
8. You think a "stimulus package" is a fertilizer supplement from Tractor Supply.
"He put that new stimulus package on his corn field, and the stalks grew so tall they blocked his view of the water tower."
9. You think "trans fats" are over-weight … (you figure it out).
"Look at those trans fats on the corner."
10. You think "high definition" is a college English course.
"I'm so proud of Fran. She passed her high definition class at Tech U."